How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows
Putting Your Feelings on Paper
Writing your own wedding vows allows you to express your commitment and love for your partner in your own words. While traditional vows given at a religious wedding ceremony are great for some couples, they aren't personal enough for others. Writing your own wedding vows is also an ideal choice for couples having a non-religious wedding ceremony; religion or God need not be mentioned.
Writing and saying your own wedding vows is a very moving and intimate way to express your feelings for one another. It gives your wedding ceremony a special uniqueness not common to every wedding. However before you can express your feelings you must identify them. Talk to your partner about your marriage, beliefs, hopes and dreams. Use this conversation as the basis of your wedding vows (take notes).
Here are some questions to get you started:
- What are the strengths or special qualities of your relationship?
- What hopes, dreams and goals do you share?
- When did you realize he/she was the one?
- What have you learned from one another?
- What traits about your partner inspire you? Why?
- What are the special moments of your relationship thus far?
- What aspects of married life do you look forward to with your partner?
Once you have a foundation start writing your wedding vows. Keep in mind during your vows you must state your promise to remain committed to your partner and that you take them as your spouse. A line of this type is required to ensure your wedding vows are legally binding.
There are other points to consider when writing your wedding vows:
- Your wedding vows should be no longer than 3 minutes
- The words should come from the heart - be open and sincere
- Decide whether each of you will recite the same or different vows
- Include your guests by having them respond with their blessings and support
- Include proverbs, quotes or poetry if you feel it adds to your vows
- Read the vows aloud to catch any errors
- Re-write as necessary, but not too much - the vows don't need to be perfect, just personal
- Discuss your wedding vows with your officiant - they can check that the vows are legal or offer suggestions if you need help
Your wedding vows don't need to be masterpieces to rival Shakespeare; often the most moving words are those that are simple, sweet and from the heart.