The Best Woman and the Man of Honor

Addressing the Role Reversal

Brad has been your best friend since you were in diapers. You can't imagine your wedding day without him, and you want him to have an important role in your wedding. Is there such a thing as a Man of Honor? For that matter, if the groom's best friend is a woman, can there be a Best Woman? Yes!

Making new wedding traditions means making modern choices, and opposite sex attendants are a fresh and wonderful feature in a growing number of wedding ceremonies.

You do not have to use traditional terms for your role-reversed attendants.

The terms honor attendant, best friend, man of honor, best person and best woman are cropping up in weddings everywhere these days. Gender doesn't matter - the support system you choose is what really counts.

Men in the bride's party and women on the groom's side do not change the significance of wedding party roles; with honor attendant status comes the traditional responsibilities and duties of the maid of honor and best man. At the ceremony, the best woman and man of honor enter the service in the customary order. They stand in the same places that traditional best men and maids of honor have always entered and stood. Make sure your ceremony director and officiant know who your attendants are ahead of time so there is no confusion during the ceremony.

The only difficulty that brides seem to have with modern role reversal is deciding what sort of attire is appropriate for their gender-bending friends. There are no hard and fast rules, but here are a few tips to keep in mind when role reversal arises in your wedding party.

The key is to have your honor attendant fit in with the rest of your attendants. A bride's male attendant can dress the same as the groomsmen, while the groom's woman attendant can dress the same as the bride's maids. Consider a tuxedo or suit slightly different from those of the groomsmen, with cummerbund and tie to match the bridesmaids. The female honor attendant can feel free to wear a pantsuit or dress to match the attire of the groomsmen. Some best women opt to wear plain black dresses, too.

Modern couples shouldn't feel bound by tradition when choosing their wedding attendants. Transform tradition and choose the people who are closest to your hearts based on friendship and support, not gender.

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