Choosing your Maid of Honor

Making a Good Choice

There are no firm rules in choosing the maid of honor (or matron of honor if married). As such, a personal decision it's difficult to establish set rules that can accommodate every unique bride. In fact, like the wedding itself, most brides will have an existing image in their head of their "ideal" maid of honor and the expected maid of honor responsibilities. That said, these tips can help narrow down the choice, especially if you're feeling conflicted about the decision.

  1. Acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses: your maid of honor should complement your strengths and counterbalance your weaknesses. Be honest about who you are, what you want and recognize your limitations. Do you "think big," but have trouble with the follow through? Consider a detail-oriented sister as your maid of honor. Are you easily stressed? A calm, level-headed friend can be a soothing choice. As your primary source of moral support, the maid of honor should be your "other (better) half".
  2. It doesn't have to be family: never feel as though you have to pick a sister or other family member to be your maid of honor. If you're very close with your sister by all means choose her. However, if there's someone else in your life you feel connected with, or whom you feel will do a "perfect job", then she may your ideal choice.
  3. Distance does matter: the greater the distance, the harder it will be for the maid of honor to communicate and participate in wedding planning and other bridal events (for example, shopping for bridesmaid dresses). If you need a lot of help consider a local maid of honor.
  4. Consider the maid of honor's past and future: consider your potential maid of honor's past performance. Did she forget to water your plants when you were on vacation despite swearing she would? If she's consistently unreliable, late or forgets details she may not your best choice. On the other hand, someone who has always been there for you would make a loyal, trustworthy maid of honor. Also consider her future. If she's pregnant or going through a divorce she may not be able to devote her full attention and energy to your wedding.
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